Hiking the Grand Canyon 2009

Kate hiked the grand canyon again this year. We just got back (literally) yesterday. I opted out because of the ever healing broken leg (never been so happy to be injured). We both did it last year. It is insane. 24 miles across the grand canyon from one rim to the other in one day. She is one tough cookie.


This year I was a driver. We picked up another couple at the airport in Vegas (there were 21 crazy souls who hiked this year) and headed for the the north rim. I was completely relaxed, loving every minute. Kate was a nervous wreck, constantly reviewing her lists and worrying about what to take and what to leave in the car. We had a cabin with two queen sized beds. She tossed and turned all night. I slept like a baby! The next morning I dumped them out at the trail head around 5:30 and cruised back to the lodge for breakfast. After eating way to much I made my way to the south rim to pick them up.Around 2pm I received a text from Kate telling me that she was three miles out. She was more than two hours ahead of our pace last year! Suddenly I realized that I was no longer going to be able to claim it was her that slowed us down the previous year.


Kate made it in just under 10 hours. The other couple riding with us finished in just over 13. I spent the day waiting on hikers at the trail head. Once they arrived I would get them into our Yukon, which is left running with the heater on so that the cab temp is about 90 degrees. We do this because it is rather cold and most of the hikers, once they stop moving, go into shock and start shivering uncontrollably. Also, the extreme heat seems to ease the muscle cramps that follow. After about 30 minutes in car I shuttle them up to their hotel for a hot bath (and most a strong drink).


All went well with the hike....the problems began shortly thereafter! I had separated the remote unlock device from the actual key so that I could keep the car running but locked so to avoid someone driving off with our car (yes I realize 99.9 percent of the visitors to the grand canyon are either foreigners on a bus tour or complete granolas....but I don't trust granolas...). Somehow, that night, after dropping everyone off and parking the car, the key slipped out of my hand and fell in the parking lot. Later on that night I located the remote unlock device in my pocket and assumed the key was still attached. It wasn't until the next day that I realized I had no key.


Upon returning to the parking lot I quickly located the key, silently thanked granolas and foreigners everywhere for being honest, and proceeded to try and start the car. Try was the key word here. Upon turning the key the dash lit up with the words "anti theft device engaged". I tried it a couple more times, same results. I tried it a few more times for good measure. The damn car was calling me a thief!


After helping Kate out of the room and down the stairs (muscles don't work very well on day two....) I explained the situation and she informed me that onstar would fix my stupidity. After being assured by onstar they could fix the problem with a simple satellite reset, I sent everyone on their way and waited for onstar to do its magic.


An hour later onstar informed us they could do nothing, we had damaged the computer chip in the key (who knew the damn key had a computer chip) and that we could either use the spare key (located in Alamo 400 miles away) or be towed to the nearest town with a dealership and wait for it to open monday so that the system could be re-programmed. Kate simply responded with tears...and when I say tears...I mean irrational, crazy, tired, inconsolable tears! She wanted to be in her bed at home now, and she meant now! She wanted our kids, who were farmed out with family members in two different cities, by her side. She wanted out, and she wanted out now!


Realizing I had an injured, sore, borderline crazy woman on my hands, I decided the first priority was to find a bed for her to hopefully fall asleep in. I inquired at the lodge as to availability. We, of course, had checked out of our room under the incorrect assumption that I was able to successfully complete a simple task like keeping the keys to the car in my possession while Kate hiked across one of the seven wonders of the world. The lodge, of course, was booked solid. Anticipating free loaders like ourselves, the lodge had also built all the seating in the small lobby out of wood which caused your rear end to ache after less than 30 minutes. A storm had blown in with 50 mile an hour winds. Walking around, assuming Kate could still walk, wasn't an option either.


Fearing that Kate was plotting my death, and hoping to put the squeeze on the reservation desk, I explained our desperate circumstances and again inquired if there was ANYTHING available. I planned to con someone from Alamo into bringing me the spare key, but needed somewhere to stash Kate for eight or nine hours until the key arrived. With a grin the kid behind the counter informed me that a suit  was available at the El Tovar hotel for the measly price of $375 bucks. Before he could even finish the price I had shoved a credit card in his face. Sensing my urgent nature he inquired what was wrong. I just pointed to poor Kate sobbing in the corner - too afraid to sit down on the wood furniture for fear of not being able to stand back up. After shuttling Kate to the third floor, drugging her with some pain meds, and tucking her in for her $46.85 an hour nap, I scurried off to see who I could get to make the nine hour drive with our spare key.


Luckily for me my brother had nothing better to do with his Sunday than to drive down to my rescue. We left the south rim around 9:30 pm sunday night (after robbing the suit of all loose items to get even for the outrageous "afternoon rate") and after a quick stop in Vegas to pick up half of our kids we made it to our home around 4am. After insuring that kate and kids were sleeping soundly, I snuck out to go hunting with my brother in law, whose deer season opened that morning. Less than three hours later we shot the biggest mule deer I have ever seen! That, though, is a different story!