Do you ever find yourself with a list of ten things to do and only time to complete one or two? I have noticed that most people approach this dilemma in one of three ways. Let me explain the three approaches complete with examples and never before revealed insight! (Erik loves the drawn out drama).
The first group neatly lists all of the “to do” items on a sticky note to be posted in a general location for all to see. Afterward, they analyze the list, planning in detail the most strategic approach. During the planning stage they realize there is not enough time to complete the “to do” list and panic sets in. Realizing that the list cannot be completed, the first group then decides to start a totally different project unrelated to any of the original “to do” items they had set out to accomplish. My dear sweet and absolutely gorgeous wife is a “group one”.
It is not her fault; she inherited it from her grandma Bernice Phillips. In fact we refer to the group one behavior in our home as “Bernice-ing It.” Grandma Bernice was a dynamic woman who I really admired. In her later years, she would get somewhat distracted with the task at hand. It was not uncommon while visiting Grandma Bernice to be offered ice cream. On more than one occasion she would scamper off the kitchen but fail to return. After five minutes or so the awkward silence in the living room would be broken by the sound of a vacuum in the back room. Upon investigation it would be revealed that Grandma was out of ice cream. Instead of a quick trip to the store or an explanation that she had run out, she would simply decide to vacuum a back room. Hmmmm.
My wife prefers cleaning the bathrooms to vacuuming. Any time she is in a crunch for time, or the pressure is on with a daunting deadline, she simply changes her cloths, grabs the rags, and starts cleaning the bathrooms. If I come home from work and she is cleaning the bathrooms I instinctively know that she is up against a young women’s teaching deadline, or she needs to be somewhere soon and she feels she doesn’t have enough time to make it. At the end she is still stressed, but our bathrooms are always spotless!
The second group analyzes the time versus task dilemma and immediately resolves to do nothing. The third group looks at the list, acknowledges (usually audibly) that there is no way in hell to complete all the items in the time allotted, and then proceeds to plow into the list with great speed but little to no attention to detail. Instead of completing two or three tasks, group three individuals leave their mark on each item completing nothing and usually leaving a trail of carnage and destruction causing much more harm than good.
Unfortunately, I am a hybrid of group two and three. I never create a list or plan a sensible attack. Most often, if I feel I cannot complete everything I need to in the time allotted, I do nothing. Sure, it would make much more sense to do one or two and then try again the next weeknight… but I prefer to do nothing all week and then Saturday attack all of the stacked up items from the week with a vigor an resolve that is 1% brains and 99% brawn. On occasion I am successful. More often than not it is disaster. Let me share with you my latest Saturday experience.
As I was leaving the office Friday night (speeding as usual to try and catch the second half of Duston’s little league game I was thirty minutes late for) I was contemplating my Saturday plans. I love Saturdays…it is a needed change in pace from the week at the office. My mental list (no way in hell I am writing it down!!!) consisted of the following.
Saturday AM – transfer water on ranch from east ditch to west ditch, move cattle to east side, air up tires and change batteries on loader, successfully “borrow without them knowing” parents John Deere Gator from parents garage in town for my use in the PM, take away trash to landfill, fix two flat tires on motorbikes, mow lawns at the old house, repair pipe leak, clean out garage, water down track for afternoon activities, get fuel from gas station in town for ATV’s, and walk through landscaping plans with Kate at new home.
Saturday PM – Watch second half of playoff game and go motorbike riding with the boys on the mini-supercross track strategically placed where Kate’s landscaped yard is supposed to be (that is another story…)
After reviewing the events I realized there was no way to complete the morning agenda without spilling into the afternoon, which would undoubtedly affect my motorbike ride! Just then the phone rang. It was a “helpful” fellow church member letting me know of an “opportunity” for service. I grumbled. Church really does interfere on a regular basis. They needed a load or two of water and coincidentally I have both a water source and a water truck!
As I am discussing the details with the caller another call rings through. It is Kate reminding me that I have the kids in the morning while she attends a meeting. As I protest she reminds me it has been on the calendar for months. The calendar is strategically placed in the kitchen and is intended to coordinate our busy lives. It is a good idea, I must admit, but I never look at it, let alone attempt to coordinate. As a result of my lack of effort to coordinate, the calendar is her trump card to any scheduling dispute. She had me. I could do nothing but acknowledge my fate.
Being the eternal optimist, though, I dreamed about how to still get it done with the distinct handicap of four midgets, one of which must still be nourished every three hours through a bottle. I knew it could be done; I just had to work faster!
We started early. I piled the kids into the truck and lied to them about a fun filled day riding around the valley with dad. Our first task was to take a load of water to the “needy”. As I started the water truck I notice the front tire was quite low. It had been leaking for months but I had not found the time to fix it. It was faster (in my mind) just to add a little air each time it was used. The problem today was that the air station was on the other side of the ranch and the well used to fill the truck was in the middle of the ranch, right between the house and air station. Most sane people would pass the well, go fill up the tire, and return to the well for water. It would take at most 30 extra minutes. However, I was in a hurry! My plan was to fill the truck, drive slowly on the low tire to the air compressor on the other side of the ranch, inflate the low tire, and then deliver the water.
We made it to the well and filled the truck. The tire, with the added weight of four thousand gallons of water, appeared have a lot less air in it than I had originally thought! At this point my voice of reason said it would be smart not to try and drive the truck, but to simply walk the half mile to my house, get my pickup and small air compressor, and return and air up the tire. My adventurous (much less intelligent) side screamed go for it, we are running behind already!. Well, I (and the four kids piled on one seat next to me) followed the voice of adventure! We made it about 50 feet before the tire lost all remaining air and we began riding on the rim.
I told the kids to stay put and ran (ok walked briskly) to the house to retrieve my truck and air compressor. However the air compressor was not putting out enough air to re-seal the tire to the rim. I needed a bigger air compressor and Jesse James was hungry. I loaded up the kids and headed to town for more air and a warm bottle.
After feeding the little one we raced to my uncle's house to borrow his portable air compressor. I was in a hurry and loaded the unit in the back of the truck. I didn’t bother to put up the tailgate… I intended to drive slowly and water truck was just a mile or so up the highway. Jerett, my five year old, ask me why the tailgate was down. I responded that I left it down and that everything was going to be ok. My five year old and I then had a mental Olympics (which I dominated) over whether or not the air compressor was going to fall out. In order to keep him occupied I told him to look out the back window and let me know how the machine was doing on the trip. As I started out onto the highway I watched the unit from my mirror. It didn’t move an inch. That will show the five year old!
I began to accelerate and my son suddenly exclaimed, “It’s moving!” followed by “There it goes dad, it's unloaded itself onto the highway!” I looked back just in time to see parts exploding across both lanes of traffic and what was left of the air compressor tumbling down the center of the highway. I pulled off the road and began to pick up the pieces. To add insult to injury, a local stopped to help me but had a hard time assisting because of his continuous laughing as he described the event from his vantage point behind us. He then asked, “Why didn’t you put up the tailgate?” I bit my tongue and hoped that my five year old could not hear him.
It took me the rest of the day to change the ruined tire and deliver the load of water. As I drove home at dusk I realized that, besides ruining a $250.00 tire and $800.00 air compressor, I had not accomplished much. I still had the same “to do” list on my mind.
At that point my “second group” mentality kicked in. I realized there will always be a next Saturday.
