Fargo

A couple of weeks ago I flew into Fargo to work with our guys there. Fargo, which really should be closed (not the airport, but the whole damn state of ND) from early October until May, was a miserable nine below on the thermostat...no idea what wind chill was. Needless to say my Native Nevada self did not even approach the door to the airport until the taxi had pulled up and confirmed through hand gestures that the heater was working!


While traveling I have developed a fascination with taxi cab and limo drivers. They are an interesting breed of individuals with a few things in common. All have a story, all stories are unbelievably strange, and all drivers are dying for permission to spill their guts. Most patrons are smart enough not to invite the open dialogue. Not me though! I can wait to get in, buckle up, and brace myself for taxi cab driver confessionals!


My driver in Fargo "Charlie" did not disappoint. He was a Caucasian man in his mid fifties that reminded me of a robust, aged Uncle Ricco from the cinema blockbuster Napolean Dynamite. Charlie was born and raised in Fargo but had never visited any other state. I asked if he had traveled abroad and he informed me he had twice, once to Russia and once to the Philippines. What a combo I thought......and most people would have left the conversation at that. Not me, though. I could feel a great story in this one!


I then asked him what took him to Russia and the Philippines to which he responded "women". Charlie went on to explain that, up until a year ago, he had lived with a "girl" (he later revealed  that the girl was in her mid 70's) for about 12 years when suddenly, and most unexpectedly, she threw him out. With no place to live he called upon a good friend hoping to land a few nights on his couch. Unbeknownst  to Charlie the friend had recently married (obviously a very close friendship) and refused to allow Charlie to stay.....but did find it necessary to give him dating advice. Charlie's friend had recently purchased a Russian bride and was happy to be married but did wish he had been given a chance to meet her in person before sending the money. Apparently the picture didn't exactly match the actual bride. Charlie's friend (who would not allow him in his house) suggested Charlie go to Russia and find himself a bride.


Homeless Charlie (of course) made arrangements to go to Russia and find him a Mrs. Charlie. Upon arriving in Moscow he was sorely disappointed with what he found. The city was cold, busy, dirty, and he couldn't understand anything they were saying. After staggering around town for a few days he finally found a local nightclub where a lot of the "younger generation" hung out. Can you imagine the sight of the Fargo taxi driver putting the moves on Russian youth? At this point in the story I totally expected him to say Chis Hanson with Dateline Jumped out of the shadows to ask him what he was doing there...


Shockingly, none of the Russian girls wanted anything to do with him or his promises of a better life in Fargo ND. Charlie left Moscow discouraged and cold.


Upon arriving back in sunny Fargo, Charlie resumed his full time job of taxi cab driver. A few weeks later he met a man in on business that told him of his wild conquests in the Philippines. In Charlie's words, the man was a few years older than Charlie and quite ugly. Despite his age and apparent ugliness (according to Charlie), he told Charlie he had dates every night with gorgeous women in their early twenties who "mauled him with affection". I didn't pry on the "mauled with affection" for fear of where the conversation would go.  The man told Charlie that "With your dashing looks and younger age there is no telling how many girls would flock to you". With that ringing endorsement Charlie saved up for the next six months and then headed for the Philippines.


Upon arriving there he was again discouraged to find that the actual landscape was not as appealing as he had envisioned. He reported to me that there were lots of girls but most were "hookers" and too many American men hanging around for him to get a real fair shake  (not sure if that was with the hookers or other girls). He spent a couple weeks there and, wouldn't you know it, on his last day, he found an area up north with less Americans and more girls. However, in his five hours or so in the town he was unable to locate Mrs. Right.


I asked if he was discouraged with the whole "international dating" scene. He responded he was not. In fact, Charlie is currently saving for a trip to Indonesia  where he hears your money goes twice as far and the girls all speak English. Unfortunately we had arrived at my destination so I was unable to explore English speaking Indonesia with him.


If you ever land in Fargo and need a taxi, I highly recommend Charlie....if he is in town